I have to start with my family life growing up to explain. My father was (and is) a sadist. About 3 times a week he would get me cornered and torture me and laugh while my narcissistic mother egged him on. I was fed the last in the family and my clothes were thrown together by my mother and made out of left over curtain fabric. I was never given anything I ever asked for, like dolls, clothes, toys, anything.
Okay… Now here I am, a grown woman, and I have decided to collect dolls for fun. I do love this hobbie and almost everything about it except for the doll collecting groups online. They are soooooo 7th grade, with their little cliques.
The problem is this–recently my mother told me that I had been written out of the will. No surprise there. But still I am feeling so vengeful and am tapping her for money every chance I get so as to get "mine" now. I have lost whatever feeling of pity I had for her. There is nothing left. I am done.
What I would like to do is to move on with my doll collecting and come to a place in my head where the hate is gone.
I live on disability so I do need the little bit of money she sends me. They bought my sister her house and put her son through college, so she can send me a few measly dollars.
Is there a cognitive approach to this dilemma that will give me peace?
I am looking for quality answers here and if I only get one helpful response I will be happy.
I give 10 points within 24 hours
Also growing up in a severely traumatic way, I think I understand what you’re talking about as far as your approach to the present.
All I can tell you is, over time, I have *tried* to start forgiving these people that destroyed me as a child through adulthood. I’ve found that two of the people involved, I have forgiven them. I have absolutely no emotions toward them…not even hate. I held onto that for a long time, and letting go and, essentially, acting as though they don’t even exist on this planet helped me get through that part of it. It’s kind of like forgiving them allowed me to forgive myself. Forgive myself for hating them and wishing pain upon them for so long. That’s not who I am and forgiveness helped me understand that.
I don’t know if this will help you or not. I didn’t write it because of the points….I could care less about the points…my concern lies with the people that post their problems on here looking for help. And I want to help.
So, yeah, I think forgiveness plays a big part in recovering from these d*ckheads that ruined our childhoods.
Best of luck to you, sincerely. I hope you are able to reach peace and I hope you do well with your doll collection (I collect Jem and the Holograms dolls
).