What is your approach to teaching your baby?
About a year ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter, we had a family get together and 2 of my cousins were there with their 9-10 month old babies. Both boys were already walking, understanding some language, and very interested in exploring.
Their families had two completely different parenting styles. One of my cousins was constantly saying ‘no,’ slapping her son’s hand, putting him in ‘time out,’ etc. and viewed her son as being ‘naughty.’
My other cousin, viewed everything as a teaching opportunity. ‘Don’t hit; touch softly’ (and show him how). ‘That’s not a toy; let’s go play with (offers him a toy).’ She talked constantly to him explaining things in simple ways.
Both babies were essentially into the same things, but one was always ‘in trouble,’ while the other was joyfully exploring.
I instantly knew that I would be going with the latter approach with my child.
What is your parenting style like? If you choose a punitive approach, what merit do you see in it?
All babies are differnt. My first walked a week before he was nine months old, and my second did not walk unitl he was 12 months. It didn’t have anything to do with my discipline style.
That being said, nine months is WAY to early to use slapping of the hand and time out as discipline, especially when they are just doing normal baby exploration. Save that for the Terrible Twos.
February 11th, 2010 at 4:38 am
I teach my baby. 9-10 months is WAY too young for time out (just my opinion). They are young, curious, and need to learn!
Now…. When he’s old enough to know better, of course there are going to be consequences when he does something wrong.
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February 11th, 2010 at 5:04 am
I chose to be encouraging rather than punitive. I would worry about her self-confidence in the future if I’m always telling her she’s naughty. Eventually she’ll act that way.
I try to have patience. I want a close loving relationship with my daughter throughout my life and if I start being too hard on her now I’ll never get out of the habit. She’s doing so good now too.
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February 11th, 2010 at 5:52 am
My husband and I are very soft spoken, respectful, and open-minded people so I think (hope!) that it will only be natural for our son to follow our footsteps. I want him to be a confident person and explore everything and anything! I agree with the latter parenting style as well!
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February 11th, 2010 at 6:39 am
I let my baby explore. Everything is fabulously curious and new to him. Of course, now he is 13 months and testing the boundaries, like he is constantly going over to the doggy dish and splashing around in the water. I tried no, I tried a little slap on the hand, I tried the mean face….everything just made him laugh. Now when he tests the boundaries, I just say something like "that’s not for big boys" or "come help mommy play" and lead him back to his toys, get down on the floor and play with him for awhile. I figure the testing is just as much about getting my attention as anything else. Babies are born without shame and without fear. I don’t want to establish fear in our relationship.
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February 11th, 2010 at 6:53 am
I teach students daily, they listen to me and respect me and I do NOT have to put my hands on them or scream at them to get respect! These are kids I see for one year at a time, I don’t know anything about them before the show up and still I manage to maintain discipline (some days being better than others) without physically touching the child or bashing them.
As a new parent, I plan to take a similar approach to the cousin you have that gives an opportunity to teach. I do believe in consequences however but the consequences must come after you have taught the child what to do and sometimes it takes a few "teachings and practice" for the child to get it. Consequences such as a time out do work at times. Say for example the child is throwing a tantrum, a time out can help. Why? Well just like we need time to cool off when we get angry, so does a child. But..after the time out, make it teachable. Make sure the child understands why they were in time out and what they need to do to not go there again. Again, this would be at an age where the child can comprehend what’s going on. Not at 9 months old.
Every child is different and every child responds to different styles of discipline. You have to see what works best for the child and go from there…but putting your hands on a child and being negative, for me..would never be the way.
Good luck!
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School Teacher and Parent
February 11th, 2010 at 7:21 am
All babies are differnt. My first walked a week before he was nine months old, and my second did not walk unitl he was 12 months. It didn’t have anything to do with my discipline style.
That being said, nine months is WAY to early to use slapping of the hand and time out as discipline, especially when they are just doing normal baby exploration. Save that for the Terrible Twos.
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February 11th, 2010 at 7:27 am
The first you’ve described is a form of the Authoritarian parenting approach and I find no merit in it. We do our best to practice Authoritative parenting. http://www.parentsleague.org/review_articles/samalin.html. I find it works well for our family and went hand in hand with Attachment parenting; which we practiced when they were infants.
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